On Sharing a Husband By Ho Xuan Hu'o'ng

The author of this poem is actually the second wife or concubine of a governor of a province of Vietnam. In this poem, she expressed the miseries of being a second wife. She has to share sex and love with another woman. She was basically his maid, he come to have a good time a leave. She was relegated to be attached to him without a right to have a life for her. She was submitted to his mercy and his desire. She wanted a normal life, but at the same time she was a need to feel love. She used as object in which he satisfied his desire regardless of her feelings. Being a second wife have the disadvantage that you get what other people does not want. She in this case take a position of dishonor because all privilege and honor was for his wife. I believe that he only want her as a lover, but he did not show respect to her. Cultural differences make me think this way may be in Vietnam this is a normal things. Feelings are universal and no matter how the cultures dictates moral and values. Woman must get our place and show respect for ourself because no one would respect us, if we do not do it first. Even if we love somebody, we do not have to put our dignity over what we feel. Sharing a pattern always would have a negative connotation. At the end, everyone would suffer.